The Chronicles Of The Fallen Paladin

“I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town. They say I've gone mad. Yeah, I've gone mad.” – Bruno Mars

2011-04-05T14:21:00.007+08:00

Time is never linear.
It travels in circles.

A good few years ago, I was down and out for the count. I could imagine the referee’s fingers counting to ten and right before my blurry eyes. The cheers of friends and family echoed in my ears. Then, by sheer will (pun, fully intended), I got up.

Now, a few thousand days later, once again, I stand face to face with Life, himself. And I’m being bashed – left, right, and center. My career progression is at a stand still and I feel like Aron Ralston – Yes, the same guy who was featured in the biographical film, 127 Hours. Yes, I’m trapped and I’ve gone mad.

The last career stint was wrapped in a veil of beautiful promises. While time and time again, I got disappointed by the lack of leadership, mentorship and ethics. It’s a great product, and I still stand by its strong and noble intentions. But it’s dying for a great leader to steer the ship.

“I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town. They say I've gone mad. Yeah, I've gone mad.” – Bruno Mars

Amidst a cacophony of sirens, yells, and the cracking flames of burning houses, I staggered into the welcoming darkness of the night. I draped a cloak around me and made haste out of the village. As the mayhem drifts further away, I journeyed on, wanting to take refuge deep into the nearest forest. Soon, I succumbed to fatigue and took a breather under a colossal tree-like structure. The view of the sky was obstructed by the dense canopy and I was engulfed in darkness.

A faint light from the burning village allowed me to catch a glimpse of my surrounding. “Well… What do we have here?” a strange creature appeared from the lush leaves of the nearby bush. “My name is Wik, and I am a Witte Wieven of the Enition Forest.” The creature grinned and offered a handshake. I stretched out my hand with extreme caution.

According to folklore, Witte Wievens are Witches from the Netherlands whose spirits remained on earth and became living spirits (or elven beings) that either helped or hindered people who encountered them. They tend to reside in the burial grounds or other sacred areas.

The ground around me started rumbling and wooden spikes began to emerge and forming a cage around me. I rolled my eyes in exasperation and uttered to myself,“I just got out of this damn thing.”

“I wanna rock and roll; I wanna give my soul; I'm wanting to believe; I'm not too old.” - Matthew Perryman Jones

2011-02-15T11:49:00.003+08:00

It has been a while since I posted something here - 976 days to be exact. Many things have happened. I have since left the government drone cycle, after 30 months of struggle, had a short stint at a small firm with no business ethics, and joined a large telecommunications giant. Allow me to recount the triumphs and defeats that I’ve experienced. Here’s where we left off.

The Dark Force swarmed the Bucaady townsfolk, and the elite forces from the Kingdom of Will were barely able hold them back. This was not what we signed up for. One by one, I witnessed my comrades fall; but Lekkin still held his own. The Chief of Bucaady, fought gallantly with his shovel in hand, taking down a couple of Dark Warlords on his own. However, with a single swoop, the leading Dark Lord pierced Lekkin from behind, ending the battle in the process. The townsfolk dropped their picks and forks one at a time, and all the clattering and clanging signaled their inevitable surrender.

A crimson blanket bore evidence to the bloodbath that took place just moments earlier, and all that’s left standing were few townsfolk and me. In my heart, I took a moment of silence to utter a prayer for my fallen comrades and the gallant Lekkin.

The journey back to Bucaady was bounded in silence. Grim, cold faces told the horror and sadness they were shown. We were welcomed by the wails and cries of newfound orphans and widows; only a handful ran towards the survivors and presented them a teary hug.

A voice boomed across the village, breaking the air of despair, “Bow to your new ruler. Kneel and pay your respects to The Dark Ice Queen – Jophina.” The skies turned artic and raw at her presence; and the new Ice Queen was greeted by cold silence.

I was spared death and banished into the dungeons in fear that the townsfolk would stage a coup. The people buried their loved ones and carried on their daily lives as usual. And as day turn into night, days turn into weeks, and months into years, I finally chanced upon my route for freedom...

Go figure.

"Girl, don't you know you can't escape me. cos you know that you'll always be my baby." – David Cook

2008-05-19T06:43:00.004+08:00

A dead rat welcomed me at the very start of the working week. The air is still as you enter the premises. There is an audible silence. Treading into unchartered waters has been my forte since the beginning of my professional employment. I humbly foray into marketing; or so I thought.

Enchanted molecules dissipated into the surrounding skies as my mind spiraled into nothingness. Every ounce of my dreams and ambition has wilted into nonexistence. Everything that was taught in every institution I've attended has been erroneous.

As I resisting temptations to morph into a clock-watching, order-taking, mindless drone, I have to blend myself into this atrocious culture.

Everyone is bending backwards (read: spineless) for the bosses.

Is this supposed to be the Singapore way?
Is this supposed to be "World Class"?

"Girl, don't you know you can't escape me. cos you know that you'll always be my baby." – David Cook

The land of Bucaady is encompassed with serenity and peace. Many warlords have also been eyeing the land for its abundance in resources. My men have informed me that a Dark Force is enroute to devour villages and cities – Bucaady is one of them.

The agreement was made for the Elite Forces from the Kingdom of Will, Virex, to defend the stronghold. Knowing Virex can only provide a few veterans of war and strategists, the Chief of Bucaady, Lekkin, assembled his men of farmers and craftsmen into the front yard.

"Today… We fight!" He declared.
“With what sire?” a townsfolk asked.
“With our picks and forks.”

Everyone stood there motionless as the Dark Force emerged from the dense forestation out into the open.

I was watching the waves as a crimson tail teetered above the waters…
She was with another...
Go figure

we were as one babe
for a moment in time
and it seemed everlasting
that you would always be mine

now you want to be free
so I'm letting you fly
cause i know in my heart babe
our love will never die,no!

you'll always be a part of me
i'm a part of you indefinitely
girl don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you're never gonna shake me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

”It's too late to apologize… It's too late…” – One Republic

2008-01-21T14:03:00.001+08:00

Wonder what car does Father Time drive?
I guess it has to be a twin engine, supped up, turbo-charged Ferrari.
Nah, not the F1 model, it probably has to be one of the F450s or Enzos – he has an image to upkeep.

It’s been two entire months since I posted an entry here.
I guess the readers (or lack thereof) have dwindled to a mere 3 countable ones – Me, Myself and I.

Oh well, life’s always been tough. It’s never been smooth sailing.
Whoever came up with that phrase must not have been a sailor.
Who the fuck said that sailing wasn’t tough?
It is one of the all rounded sports in competitive history – physically and mentally.

Being at the brunt of shout spasms is what I have to endure till this very moment.
Someone even mentioned that I lack the eye for design.

Well… technically, that’s correct. I am not design trained. However true that may be, aesthetics are not to be measured.

There is no wrong in design.
There’s only intent in its communication.

Here, I’ll turn the page and carry forth with the next chapter.

"It's too late to apologize… It's too late…" – One Republic

The seas were raging as a storm was imminent.
I have been trapped in this urn, this demonic excuse of a sarcophagus cast by Jade.
For I know not day or night, for I can’t tell the ticking of time.
For what it has seemed like an eternity.

Swaying amongst the distinctive sounds of the sea, I can only crave death.
Time seemed to stand still, ever so still, as the waves smacked against my cocoon in rhythmic fashion. Then, the sounds seemed different, the waves – distant.
Have I hit shore, have I…?

Light flowed into the urn. I can see the sky again.
A little voice whispered, “hey there. I’m Aurelia.”

I turned and glanced at its direction and I saw a sight that was to behold.
Complete with a tail of crimson scales and hair as shiny as the Arabian night.
I’ve only heard it in stories told by fishermen and sailors. Hence I deemed it folklore.
I thought they were only mythical beings. But now, standing before me was a mermaid.

Just another figment of my imagination...

“I ain't wasting no more time… But, here I go again…” - Whitesnake

2007-11-19T15:09:00.000+08:00

“It's been...about 4 months since he and I are not together. Seriously...I'm glad it's over. It was a long drawn break-up waiting to happen. Okay. So it was not so long. Whoever made the first move does not matter. I'm glad he found someone he can have a new relationship with and I'm glad I am currently dating a pretty wonderful guy. Perhaps 5 years really took it's toll on us. But then again, would this 4 years repeat history? I'm thinking, "Unlikely".

They are two completely different people with completely different characters. So don't get me wrong. When I thought myself in love with the former (perhaps I did), I loved everything about him, right down to his extreme male ego that's bigger than the universe. Love IS blind. I was blinded to his faults, exposed only when we broke the circle. Or let me rephrase that. I ignored/loved/pushed aside/accepted his faults because that was what I thought I should do. Yup...”
- Jade

No battle was fought as hard; no wound would hurt as much.
I don’t know what would have inflicted as much damage as these two simple paragraphs.

Like a plunge through my heart, these words separate my life and soul.
Living in the eternal blackness, I haven’t seen light in months.

“I ain't wasting no more time… But, here I go again…” - Whitesnake

Beads of perspiration streamed from my brow, as I directed the tip of the sword at the man whom I once called a friend. Laxion and I fought alongside each other through countless adventures and many wars. Then I discovered that immoral act.

Our blades clashed amidst the thunderous skies with the imminent storm overlooking the terrain. The clattering echoed throughout time itself. Unbeknownst to thyself, an act of sin has been brewing inside Jade.

She lunged toward my back with a dagger, plunging it deep into my heart. Leering over my wounded body, Jade had cast two spells into individual urns. Encrypted with cursed scrolls, they were designed to destroy my life and soul. Fortunately for me, she only managed to contain them.

Tears streamed down her face, she ran towards Laxion’s waiting embrace, wondering to herself, “Why?! Why’d I do this…” and stabbed Laxion, much to his astonishment.

A hundred days passed since the falling of this paladin.
A hundred nights of living in pitch darkness.
A hundred apologies…
A hundred…

"You got to fight for what you want..." - Bruce Springsteen

2007-10-15T13:51:00.000+08:00

Oh my Gosh!

After a fortnight’s stint in an advertising agency, I finally uncovered renewed drive and direction. The decision to make between my former company and the current one was a no-brainer. Humans with some form of intellect and common sense will go back to the former company. They had offered more than 135% of my current salary. Yes… 135%.

Gosh! What was I thinking?
Gosh! Was exactly what I was thinking.

Following an encounter with good fortune, I was able to wiggle my way into an advertising agency. Gone are the days with mundane, deskbound jobs. Opening my arms and embracing newfound challenges, I’m taking this bull by the horn. I will spread my seed of ingenuity. And one day, I shall rise… as … The King of Creativity.
…

It was imminent, the signs were omnipresent…
For two entire years, I was able to chug this into the depths of my mind.
For three whole months, I was down in nadir.

I strived to fight back the pain and anguish… and I succeeded.

But yesterday, she stepped forth, and made contact.
…

I struggled up the Mountains of Gosh and fought valiantly with all I could muster. My legs could hardly stand as the battle of Nadir wages on. With the beheading of the last foe, I stood there… all’s blank…

Glancing at the valleys, I plotted my next move. Then, I heard her…, “Will… Will…”

Two years had passed, without a hint or trace of her. But now, she’s standing right before me holding the paw of a bear. It seems that Mother Nature had a hand in this charming lady.

It seems that the past was necessary…

“Wake Me Up When September Ends” - Greenday

2007-09-14T15:51:00.000+08:00

What’s in a name?
Posh and luxurious brands like Louis Vuitton and Cartier, speaks volumes of the status of the people that owns them.

There’s a vast gulf in wearing an LV shirt and letting the shirt wear you. Drowning yourself in materialism doesn’t make you a “classy” or “stylish” individual. I’m decked in G2000 shirts and Beetle Bug shoes, and I’m always being served by the retail staff in these plush stores.

My point here is simply that, people always mask themselves up in branded goods that may conceal their inferior stature, poise and character.

“Wake Me Up When September Ends” - Greenday

I’ve ended my month’s stint in an events agency and, boy, has my anticipation paid off. A whole new realm of challenge has been laid before me and I’m gonna grab it by the neck.

Advertising, brand building, marketing are just some of the new tasks that I’ll be working with. Companies with the funds to spend would be seeking inspired ideas and inventive thoughts on how to stretch their dollar.

The Original Copycat will rise on the first of October.

…“wake me up when September ends”…

My whole world will not end… Like fairytales in wonderland…” – Will

2007-08-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

Dented Stars

I made a wish upon a star
It didn’t came true so far
Just like all the others.

The sky once blue now seemed so gray
After all the rain should stay
It’s never gone away

But there was a light
Began to shine into my life
That light was you
Just like before, the sky seemed blue

Now dented stars shine once again
People are no longer insane
My whole world will not end
Like fairytales in wonderland.

"These Words Were Uttered, Before You Ran Out The Door..." -Will

2007-08-27T15:17:00.000+08:00

Utter

On that fateful day we parted
All our memories came crashing through the floor
These words were uttered
Before you ran out the door

It’s okay… It’s okay…
I’ll see you around someday
You’re happy now go away
I know what you’re gonna say

It’s okay… It’s okay…
I guess I saw you changed
It’s alright… I’m okay…
This was all arranged…

Wandering alone in a crowded mall
Scent of crushed roses linger in the air
Down came my world and all
Underneath that face you wore
Is it still you? Is it still…

“I found you here… Now please just stay for a while… I can move on with you around…” – Avenged Sevenfold

2007-08-09T02:49:00.000+08:00

Violence, drugs and booze were all well-staged in one grand gig. A “rock” concert to be exact. Things were progressing as planned. Before “Avenged Sevenfold” could take the stage, the noise was deafening.

Then, chaos erupted as the first string of the guitar was struck…

“I found you here… Now please just stay for a while… I can move on with you around…” – Avenged Sevenfold

It might be illusions, it could have been delusions. But I thought she would stay by me, on the throne beside mine. The battle of Fort Canning Hill on that fateful day was unforgettable. Etched into the annals of my mind were flashes of the gargoyles, demons and the living dead laying siege unto the Castle.

I drew my sword and braced my fears before I fought the dark minions. Several women and children were crushed up against the barricade as I held the evil underlings back as gallantly as I could. A goblin flung itself onto my path and met with the tip of my blade. I left it lying in a heap of bloody mess.

The tone was set; I have to get my queen out of here…

I carried her in my arms and ran through the onslaught.
She was unhurt…
She was unscathed…
“I’m glad you’re fine… Jade…”

I lied on the meadows assessing my injuries…
Then she spoke, “this may not be the best of times, but I have to tell you something,”
I looked at her knowingly, “I know… It’s okay…”

"You must have me confused with some other guy" - Justin Timberlake

2007-07-19T11:29:00.000+08:00

as he brushed his face gently against hers…
she felt the hair on her nape erect…
their fingers intertwine…
is this a crime…

her lips edged towards his…
by now, he could hear her heartbeat…
one after the other…
the pulses get closer…

at the back of his car, they embraced…
under the starlit sky where the trees laze…
they kissed passionately…
they kissed uncontrollably…

silence encompassed this misdemeanour…
they were absorbed by raw fervor…
flesh on skin…
worlds collide akin…

my mobile rang fatedly…
i answered…
only to be greeted by bliss…
who the fuck is this…

and then i realised…
who am i to criticise…
we were no longer as before…
i glanced at my watch…
it’s 12:34…

“Well, my girl's in the next room… Sometimes I wish she was you” – Hinder

2007-06-26T13:11:00.000+08:00

My music lacks soul.
That sentiment has finally surfaced.

I guess I didn’t have the balls to admit that, upon the heaps of praise and adoration,
My songs lacked soul.

I’ve always been trying to put a finger on it but I can’t quite figure out “Why”.
After writing “Dented Stars” & “12:34”, I realized that they sounded very similar.

I will have to go on a year-long sabbatical, or something, to find that wandering soul of mine.
Propelled by the wrong kind of drive, I chose to embark on the wrong kind of life.

I will write one more song, just one more.
And see how it turns out…

“What I Want To Do” versus “What I Have To Do”
The war wages on…

“Well, my girl's in the next room… Sometimes I wish she was you” – Hinder

I have always wanted to get a band.
By infusing my music with the artistry of a group of musicians, who-knows-what might happen.

So if anyone knows anyone, who plays a mean guitar, keeps a wicked beat on the drums, does a cool bass or has great vocals… please (and I’m begging you now) please, get them to contact me.

*Lyricists and Musicians can also apply*

p.s. this it not Singapore (I-dunno-how-to-sing) Idol

“If I were blue, would you be there for me, and whisper in my ear, ‘that’s ok’…” – Redwan Ali

2007-06-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

“What you want to do in life” versus “What you have to do in life”
Tough match up huh?

I’ve always considered going into the financial sector (where all the money is) and thus, sacrificing my love and passion for music and the arts. If any goons can’t tell by now, I have a passion for writing, love for music and definitely some creative flair.

Wondering how it’ll be like to scale the corporate ladder, polish the apples of your customers, kiss the asses of your bosses and backstab colleagues, all within working nine to five.

I, for one, always wear my heart on my sleeve. If you’re crap, I’d have told you straight in your face- “you suck!”

After being in sales and marketing for over a year, I’ve learnt to be tactful and sincere while dealing with such scenarios. I’ve discovered that the taste of the humble pie is sweet, sometimes much sweeter then being all “up there”.

Sometimes in life, you have to do what you want to do.
At other times, you have to know what you’re good at.
But more often then not, you have to do what you feel is right.
Then everything else will fall in place.

You might not be richer than Bill Gates.
You might not be more powerful than George Bush.
You might not be more popular than ____________ (insert your favorite "whatever")

But know this; everyone around you, who ever cared for you, deserves your everything.
Everyone who still loves you deserves more respect from you then just your provision for the monetary expenses. Life is not about money, it’s more than that.

..Figured..

"It's 12:34..." - Will

2007-06-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

I really wonder if I have the edge in making music.
This was made from a 20 second video and a song which i began writing at, yup; you guessed it, 12:34 am.

It's been an emotional roller coaster ride, a real big one at that.
From anger to mellow, depression to euphoria, i really felt for her.
but... this was the right thing to do.

it’s 12:34
I got nothing to do no more
I can’t sleep
leave your message at the beep

neither drunk nor sober
days will pass, we’ll get older
still the memories of us in me
these are all that’s meant to be

I’m the one that set us free
but everyday I’m blaming me
now everything is set in stone
guess I’ll just have to be alone

“In a minute we'll be gone… So we might as well just fuck…” – Ryan Star

2007-06-07T15:48:00.000+08:00

Being 290 months old isn’t much fun after all. Many people will say that you’re still young, there’s much to learn, don’t be hasty… It is logical to think all of that, it is purely common sense.

Just when you’re geared up to take flight, life just burn your wings and permits gravity to do her deed. Here’s the thing, why would anyone be in the proper state of mind would want to have different people actively partaking in the most intimate of activities…

ménage à trois

These words have been harping on my mind since I encountered them today.

But before you start pointing your guns at me (pardon the pun), I’ll have to state that I have not engaged in such an activity before.

What sickens me, is no the fact that you’ve to “share”, yes…“share”, your lover.
But when reality sinks in, it’s either you, your partner enjoying it, or worse - both…

Don’t Even Bother

"Dreams are my reality... the only kind of real fantasy" - Richard Sanderson

2007-06-04T17:15:00.000+08:00

The entire month of May was, indeed, hell…
I stepped through the doors of a new company and begun an impossible undertaking of a new profession. All doe-eyed, I embarked on the new path into the Semiconductor Industry.

The people whom I’m dealing with, vaguely resembles the notorious society formed by the anti-black populace- the Ku Klux Klan. All clad in their white, ninja-esque garments, they move gingerly in the Clean Room where the Wafers are made.

I’m gonna need the thick, black rimmed glasses real soon

"Dreams are my reality... the only kind of real fantasy" - Richard Sanderson

After another grueling season of Football, amidst scandals of match fixing and bribery allegations, AC Milan saved Italian Football by having a triumphant European Championship. The Russian Revolution, Chelski, snatched the English FA Cup,
The Red Devils from Manchester regained the Premiership throne after four cruel years.

And former champs, Arsenal and Liverpool, were left grasping air…

Undoubtedly, Manchester United will need new blood to strengthen their existing squad and mount a challenge for the converted Treble. Here’re my 2 cents-

United’s defence was left in shambles after Kaka led the Rossoneris thru Heize and Vidic like bullies in a school yard. With Van Der Sar, Scholes and Giggs staring right into the face of retirement, Sir Alex needs someone… someone good…

The recent acquisition of Owen Hargreaves, which seemed imminent, didn’t surprise me one bit. The heart of the future English Midfield, reuniting at Old Trafford speaks volumes. And Ronaldo looking to welcome yet another Portuguese Whiz-kid, Nani, with open arms, the Theater of Dreams is all set to experience a whole new intensity of enchantment.

Now… the Goal Getters…
With Saha can’t quite seem to stay injury free, Alan Smith isn’t really a Goal scorer and Rooney loves to come from deep, Manchester United desperately needs a Predator in front of Goal. Fans would free their imaginations and run wild with suggestions.
But I dare say only one will fit perfectly and deservedly so…
The Bulgarian Goal King- Berbatov.

Which brings us back to the Guardian of the Goal…
Peter Schmeichel's gloves are left empty after 8 years,
Few tried, but none capable…
If only my knee was still intact…

Go Figure

“I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing” – Chris Daughtry

2007-04-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

C.r.e.d.i.t.a.b.i.l.i.t.y.
These dozen alphabets, when unified, form a powerful word.

Love needs nothing but faith
Life, nothing but creditability.

When I approached this topic,
I never knew how I should end it… should I end it?

Life is always fun,
Movies with scripts about time travel and space manipulation are all utter crap.
For each step taken can’t be “un-took”…
For each untaken step can’t be taken…

I, for one, would wish to undo history.
Yet, one can only live one life…
And one has to make the best of things…

These days, the youth treats me like I’m old,
and the matured flings me aside, no more than an adolescent…
Whose god-given right was it to be judgmental?
Who’s gonna cut you that inch of slack that you need?
Who…?

Elementary: You

The best judge of yourself is you.
Only you can make that critical comment…
Only you can cut yourself that strip of slack…
You…

“How can I reason with the reason I'm a man” – Gary Barlow

2007-04-12T15:54:00.000+08:00

Drive and direction keeps a man in his game…
Not vendetta…

I know she’d reading this as well.
So I have to clear the air.

To embark on this pursuit of wealth wasn’t decided in retaliation
Instead, this resolution was made to give me direction and motivation.

A five-figure monthly paycheck is quite impressive.
At this current tempo, I’ll be there in half the time.
But I have to be sensitive about my surroundings.
The people that mean a lot to me mustn’t be neglected.

Everything is as “right” as it is “wrong”, no matter the path one takes.

“I’m not ‘Money-Faced’, I just have to ‘Face-Money’…” – Will

The skies turn crimson purple as night engulfs daylight.
I stared into emptiness with my blade still drawn.
Standing above the Dark Priest
My sword soaked in blood and rain.

Victory warms my heart from within
Yet a new challenge awaits the Fallen Paladin.

"Heaven will never be the same..." - Jamie Foxx

2007-03-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

Water… Vapor… Rain… Water…
This eternal cycle mirrors life itself.

I have developed a habit of pouring every ounce of my essence into my writings and posts. In spite of this, every time another person reads my blog, he or she would not be able to interpret what I’m expressing. Perhaps, just perhaps, I’d have to re-structure my words and sentences in another way.

But if I do… Heaven will never be the same…

I have been working towards the objective of wealth ever since day one. And I believed that with sound financial stability, I am able to rid half my problems. Boy, was I half wrong…

How would a person feel, I wonder,
To be living in midlife
And having all the money in the world,
Yet experience solidarity?

All wit and charm has aged along with the receding hairline.
Weekends would be filled with football, booze and a dog, named Boo.
Waking up alone to the midday sun, feeling the aftermath of a dozen cans of beer.

All friends and acquaintances will have their own life,
and loving every moment of it.
Finding time to hang out with them would be as good as none.

Sex would be fascinating, having it as many times as you want (can)
Humping your fist at anytime of the day.
Committing adultery is as easy as switching hands.

“By being a ‘whole’ person one has to possess ‘self love’ and ‘self worth’” – Princess B
“To be successful… You have to, first, be ‘impotent’” – Ah Bee

Happy Birthday to me...

“It's more than just words… it's just tears and rain” – James Blunt

2007-03-06T15:39:00.000+08:00

Twenty-nine days of absence might be sufficient for me to clear my thoughts about everything. The turn of the lunar New Year seemingly flew by like the shooting star across the Arabian night sky. Completely baffled by circumstances beyond my dictatorship, I tried to out run life itself.

I tried to wonder (again), “why blog?”

While pondering over this query, I douched my ears with the “chipmonk-ish” voice of a certain James Blunt. The lyrics of “Tears and Rain” seemed to have hypnotically entranced my mind, putting me in a state of somnolence. My mind was at ease, and every breath inhaled was saccharine and chaste.

I need time off to take my mind away from the entire calamity that I’m living through. Essential qualities and moralities in life are missing. Every one is seemingly willing to forfeit that only flicker of hope, opting to lie motionless in the presence of a vulture waiting to pounce on its prey.

Reflections of the future revealed themselves before me, one image at a time.

I browsed several blogs, most of them (more often than not), takes digs at humanity. These blogs are quite popular with the local folks here in Singapore.

The popularity of some bloggers have propelled them to celebrity status, even nabbing a few endorsement and hosting deals in the process. I guess this sorta brings blogging to an entire new level.

In the space of 2 hours, I experienced two tremors. No I wasn’t in Japan. I was sitting in my office, right smack in the northern region of Woodlands, Singapore. I knew at that point of time, there was an occurrence on the other side of the world and I didn’t seem to care much about it.

Go Figure

"Just remember darlin' all the while... You belong to me" - Jim Reeves

2007-02-05T12:28:00.000+08:00

A love, so true, tugged my heartstrings on American Idol recently.
Mr. Sherman Pore lost his wife to cancer a couple of days before the auditions.
He was no ordinary Idol-Wannabe.
He is 86.

Before his wife passed on,
He got over 300 signatures on a petition, requesting him to sing on the reality show. He only wanted to sing just one song… for his late wife…

"I believe that its moved her passing and made it a little softer... it made it a little softer..."
- Sherman Pore

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunset on a tropic isle
Just remember darlin' all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in Old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too, and blue
Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain

Just remember 'til I'm home again
You belong to me

“And you're on fire… When He's near you… You're on fire… When He speaks…” – Switchfoot

2007-02-05T11:04:00.000+08:00

Dear Fear,
The world has been living with you till this very day
Would you ever go away?
What made you come in the first place?
You’re just a waste of precious space.

I’ve not seen and experienced the wrath of your awesome prowess.
Alas, I’ve been a pawn of your perverse imagination.
You exploited human emotions and teased the heart.

For I’ve sinned, thou shall repent
And may, one day, I find nirvana
For you’ve conned thy fragile heart

You’ve got an incredible ability to work wonders
But, instead, you bring on hideous visions
Everyday people live in anxiety
Every moment you are reminisced

Every way, you make them tear
Please, Fear…
Please…

“And you're on fire… When He's near you… You're on fire… When He speaks…” – Switchfoot

“My name is Jade.” The cutesy voice continued
“I’m Will, pleased to meet you.”
“Welcome to Pinetent, I’ve been living here since I was born.” She added

A dark figure whizzed past the window and came straight through the door.
I pushed Jade aside and stood in front, prepared for a battle.
I stared intently at the door, awaiting the imminent brawl.

“It’s a… it’s a…” I was lost for words
“Meow” a gray Persian Cat emerged from the doorway.
“Hey, it’s Tiggy.” Jade was elated to see the feline animal.“Will, meet Tiggy.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, as memories of my lost companion poured into my mind.
“What’s wrong?” she asked
“It’s nothing.” I said, shrugging off the thoughts, “What happened in Apulsa?”

“I heard that there was a great battle and the entire city was wiped out.”
“What’s wrong with Tiggy?” I noticed that the cat was trying to get Jade’s attention.
“Hey Tiggy… you want me to follow you?” we carried on, tracking behind Tiggy
she’s leading us somewhere…
but where…

Tell you where you need to go
Tell you when you'll need to leave
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you've heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
these mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge
And I'm on fire
When You're near you
I'm on fire
When You speak
I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries...

“Rain outside my window pouring down… What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry” – Craig David

2007-01-22T10:51:00.002+08:00

A shattered Lava Lamp was inevitable.
Symbolizing the wreckage that once was.
Pictures of you and I were hidden from the outside world.
The etchings in my mind are eroded in due time.

I’m gonna be the bigger man
Forgiving your sin
I wanna thank you for creating the man that I am
And everything else in between

Ask and you shall be given
Repent and all will be forgotten

A wall will be painted black
Signifying remembrance
The others will be in white
Suggesting resurgence

This time, I hope it’ll be absolute
This time, I hope that history won’t be a wicked comic
This time…

“Rain outside my window pouring down… What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry” – Craig David

A dark cloud descends upon the fallen paladin. As he is awoken by the tiny splatters of rain, he opens his eyes and wonder why is he here.
Memories of the battle in Aplusa still carved in he restless mind. The tiny droplets began to form into bigger ones and as the splatter finally began to hurt, he closed his eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

A blinding light greeted him as he came to. Sounds from a nearby caravan poured into his ears and he was greeted by a sweet voice.
“You’re up.”

“Welcome to my humble home,” the voice continued, “here’s some tea.”
He sat up and took notice of a face, full of grace and a smile with warm embrace.
“Thank you.”

"Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?" - Across Five Aprils

2007-01-10T10:18:00.000+08:00

I smiled in agreement to my innermost thoughts:
"History is a wicked comic.
It always tell the same joke twice."

A Year From Now - Across Five Aprils

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours.
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But we'll never see what we could have been.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember. cause that's all you can do.

We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.

This time I thought things were real.
You said they were.
What happened?
You were a priority, Was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.

You knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?

I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Enjoy the festivities...
Cheers....

"I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time" - Lifehouse

2007-01-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

As hands of time meet at twelve, the end of the year was concluded amid a great deal booze and partying. I was spending some alone time at home with my family, fiddling with scrabble and watching the people on the google-box counting backwards. Fireworks were launched as the velvet sky became a mural of vibrant sparkles.

However, on that very same day, the World witnessed terror once more. Grenades went off in the heart of Bangkok, killing at least three and wounding countless more. The simple irony of life on earth was envisioned.

Humanity has struck a new low.

"I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time" – Lifehouse

I stepped onto the stage a couple of days ago, and sang my heart out.
Reminiscing that look, that smile and that glimmer in her eyes.
As I poured my living soul into the music,
I uttered a silent prayer and kissed the wind…

thank you...

“This what we dream about… but the only question with me now… Is do I make you proud…” – Taylor Hicks

2006-12-19T12:06:00.000+08:00

Prologue: Genesis

The World Wide Web shrank the world.
And in this case, I would like to think that it brought the world to me.

Ideas of an online home business shrouded my everyday thoughts.
It has to be self-sustaining on one hand, but on the other, there has to be enough to sustain.

The supply-demand chain is the integral to all businesses. But it’s excruciating trying to decipher what necessities and essentials the men and women of earth would give an arm and a leg for.

Hordes of firms are battling for the market shares within their respective industries.
As the juggernauts are reaping the rewards, the little ones soldier on for their survival.
And hence, how would an upstart get a break in the industry?

“I guess I've learned, to question is to grow
That you still have faith, is all I need to know
I've learned to love, myself in spite of me
And I've learned to walk, the road that I believe”
-Taylor Hicks

I’ll embark on the path of entrepreneurship.

Flip to the money pages on the Straits Times.
It’ll read: “The Power of Sheer Will”

Go figure

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness..." - The Fray

2006-12-06T09:06:00.000+08:00

It’s puzzling how one can be so busy for 8 months of his work and now, it all fades into boredom. After partitions were erected, the office seemed to be in an innate state of serenity and calm.

Allow my humble introduction to the 3 sopranos in the office.
The head of finances/ human resource/ etc – “Sha”
The accounts executive – “Chelle”
The customer service executive – “Siew”

One really has to wonder where (or how) they got that kind of stamina to talk at that volume and at a very high rate.

Siew has this loud voice, which makes Mariah Carey sound like a Singapore Idol contestant.

Chelle on the other hand, has this coarse-sounding tone.
And one really has to wonder if Richard Marx, Bryan Adams are her long-lost siblings.

Sha. The “hembra del numero uno” (number one female).
Her heavily Malaysian-accented broken English is delivered at an astonishing volume and velocity. You can't mess with her.

"Why?", you might foolishly ask.

Re-read: "Head of Finance"
need i say more?

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness..." - The Fray

As life seems to pass by one second at a time, everything eventually seems to progress in a deliberate and slow motion. Let’s have a crack at breaking down time and history.
You were thrown in *pre-school/ kindergarten/ child-care (*Delete where applicable)
The first days were filled with apprehension and curiosity. Through days, months and eventually years, you’ve learnt to adapt and accept. Bonds of friendship were forged.

Then, at the end of it all, that very same bond was forced to be broken.

That very cycle is repeated through the primary, secondary and tertiary years of education. We’re living in a society that compels us to build and break amalgamations.

Someone dear to me once told me:
“ You were born onto this world alone, you’ll die alone.”

-Go Figure

"Lie to me.. Convince me that I've been sick forever.. And all of this.. Will make sense when I get better." - Evanescence

2006-10-17T09:23:00.000+08:00

There are bigger issues in life than nursing a broken heart.
Stuff like the global warming, terrorism, the Indonesian haze, declining birth rates and what not, are much significant then just,
“You don’t reciprocate the love I have for you… Boo Hoo…”

The 4 issues I mentioned are related interdependently.
They are all differently similar.

For instance, 2 decades ago, Singapore has no “Declining Birth Rate” problem. The people back then were at it like rabbits. So much so that, “Inclining Birth Rate” was a problem, a major one. Due to the fact that there were less stress and tension, people have more time on their hands.

These days, people have double amount of work for half the salary. The long hours they have to put in, the lethargy after getting home and your body gets out of shape with the lack of exercise, which turn into fats and turns your partner off.

Stress is not a bad thing at all. In fact, it is required for some people as a catalyst. Humans who lack motivation are often driven by stress. And I believe that the most successful people are, more often than not, thrive on stress.

The common denominator here is “Stress”.
It’s a double-edged weapon.

The Indonesian Haze, which in turn causes Global Warming, possesses similar traits as the “Birth Rate” problem. The farmers would be stressed to work their ass off to grow and harvest more crops to bring rice to the table that they actually burn the forests to make more land for farming.
(Please note that the Rice Farmers would bring other stuff that they don’t produce)

Terrorism wraps it all up.
The inevitable struggle of men undermines the progress of mankind. Everyday you’re greeted by peaceful sunshine. Everyone paints a smile on their faces. Yet, how many are actually smiling?

People with “power” often get besieged by it. The ability to dictate and manipulate the lives of billions gets so overwhelming, that it actually stresses you out.

Fame and Fortune are mere vices.
Humans are its tools and devices.
Will paper worth more than ores, diamonds and that precious gem?
Will the world see another sunrise before it faces the very end?
Go figure

"Somehow I couldn't quite summon the nerve...Upon each anniversary do you ever think of me?" - Burt Bacharach

2006-10-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes “Closures” don’t happen the way you want it to. The seams, once sewn taut, are now agape. They’re calling for amendments. But for now, it doesn’t really matter.

I presumed a birthday greeting would be just that, nothing more.
There are no emotions in text messages but you might feel some with this one:

“Happy Birthday… Take care…”
“Thank you. By the way, may I know who this is…?”

I didn’t put up this post until a couple of days later.

More often than not, there won’t be any closures. Shit happens but life still goes on.

"I never thought that it would be like this but now I see I see you share your cake with him Unwrapping presents that I should have sent" - Burt Bacharach

Seems like this was just a “phase” for her

The blessed union of two souls
Declared by a false prophet.
The binding of hearts became none
Ever since forever, it’s all been said and done

The lion has no pride and honor
When you shaved off its mane
Clone my heart once again
To relieve it from its prison of pain

Joy and jubilation
Frustration and depression
Forgotten wishes and eradicated dreams
this was all nothing as it seemed

Exiled into the forest
Living with bears, she might be.
Her life, now, means nothing more
than the ant on the snow covered tree.
Arrivederci... "May God be with ye"

“It’s not easy… to be… me...” Five For Fighting

2006-09-27T05:11:00.000+08:00

"cos im worried about bad karma..seeing how lightly i used to take my relationships"

I was clicking away on the annals of cyberspace when I stumbled upon a very interesting line. Yeap... Refering to the above mentioned line.

Yah… Yah… I know… stop already… move on…

It’s just one of those things, where you cant do anything about it.
Like a “one-handed-man” hanging on a cliff… and his crotch starts to itch.

Well, I guess I have to be more refined here…
I’m now between the devil and the deep blue sea.

I don’t really what to expect...
Big guy… Big dreams… Yes… Perhaps… Maybe…

“It’s not easy… to be… me...” Five For Fighting

it's 4:47am.

and i've finally completed it.

been meaning to draw this sometime back...

thou its concept is...

but this sketch is not exactly an ambigram...

thanks for the touch up, rach

"Would you lie with me and just forget the world" - Snow Patrol

2006-09-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

The foundations have been laid. Kingdom of Will is right on track.
I am driven to lay siege to the fortress known as Ed and banish this word of the treacherous, guile form this vile creature has taken.

In the northern land of Aplusa, Sir John Westwood knighted thee as The Paladin of Will. Thus, it is written in the stars that the fiend, thus foul, will fall at thy feet. And the beginning of an epic battle, I have embarked on.

"Would you lie with me and just forget the world" - Snow Patrol

It’s lonely at the top. Learn to live with it.
Knowledge in the corporate world is of the abundance. The terms and lingo can be studied and tested in the plush confines of a lecture hall. However, the application is beyond simplicity. Human interaction is multifaceted.

It’s all about the image you portray, that “look” in your eyes and the tone in your voice. The words, as you speak, will induce a hypnotic suggestion embedded into the mind of your prey.

It’s been some time since I last posted something on my blog. During this period of time, I have been plotting my next move in this living chess game. Biding my time and just waiting to pounce. I believe that there’s nothing wrong to do well for ourselves. But for me, it’s different. I have set a person as my target and many have proclaimed that I’m harboring the wrong mindset.

My 3 year plan is to establish myself financially, hoping to get a foothold of any economic stability in anyway possible and then I’ll be able to step into his realm and take him on.

All bets are off on a clean slate.
My path will be clear in December.

-war cry

"Please be mine.. Share my life.. Stay with me.. Be my wife.." - David Bowie

2006-08-28T16:11:00.000+08:00

A dull, cumbersome mood was in the air as yet another day at work beckons. While the cat’s away, the mice will certainly play. Bah! Yeah rite… My cat’s away, and I still don’t get to play. Moreover, “playing”, would not be of much fun these days.

An assortment of reactions from comments on the subject of “Love / Lust” caught me by surprise. I guess I’m losing the ability to paint a clear picture with terms and expressions. And now... The public thinks I’m one of them.

Apart from Wei, I guess no one really knows what I’m looking for. I suppose that the time is right to reveal my feelings and to unveil my worded masterpiece.

"Please be mine... Share my life... Stay with me... Be my wife..." - David Bowie

Blowing away a candle to commemorate my birth. Every year, on this very day, I would make one wish – happiness.

“Happiness”, like everything else, is perception. But, what is happiness to me? What makes the world revolve every moment? What makes the stars glimmer amid the darkened sky? What makes your tears stop for a little while, and then make you convey another smile?

Read my blog from the beginning. Arrange all the posts into a comprehensible, little brochure. And this time, understand the flow of which I paint my judgments and sentiments.

I don’t condone anything that’s practiced in this very day and age. Clubbing, swinging and all the vice, they’re just that. Nothing more. Nothing less. And why’ve I condemned “Love”, you might ask?

Frankly, I don’t give a damn.

I’m not looking for love.
I’m not looking for lust.
I’m looking for a woman.

Whose hand fits perfectly into mine
Who’ll smile even when I’m without a nickel or a dime

She’ll share my triumphs and depressions,
She’ll be present through all trials and tribulations.

We’ll spend twilight till our last breath
We’ll recreate our love even in death

She’ll be my world
She’ll be my life

I’m looking not for a woman
I’m looking for my wife.

"I can see the pain in you.. I can see the love in you.. but fighting all the demons will take time" - Dishwalla

2006-08-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

Why did God give me a penis and a brain?
The hormones of a man do not compliment the wavelength of an over analytical mind. The world revolves solely around superficiality. Fame and fortune are farces.

Note one common pattern through the aging of the millennium. Modern day poets no longer pen lyrics that declare undying love, songs about heart aches and breaks are hugely mass produced. They accommodate the perception of today. They make only one statement – Love no longer exists.

I always said, and you can quote, “Love is a hybrid of emotions and a network of deeds.” However, all’s lost. It used to be the men grasping the reigns to the way of the heart, now; the Queen of Hearts is the highest card.

Bishan Park on a Friday night was exceptionally unruffled. Tranquility overwhelmed me. The usually hotspot for lovers was no longer. I did a simple test and forwarded a sms to a few women from different backgrounds, asking how they would spend their Friday. The response was unanimous- Clubbing.

These women included ones who’re single and also attached, engaged and married. Surprisingly (or perhaps not), they weren’t with their partners. I carried on walking into the serene night, as the only sounds were emitted from the occasional passing vehicle. In the stillness of nighttime, one odd rumbling of the engine was heard from a vaguely familiar car.

I edged closer as I recognized that it was the same, run-down, car from a few days back. I was walking home at the exact same time and taking the exact same route. I did not, could not, forget that car.

Two people were getting it hot and heavy in the car. Today, it was a different girl. I didn’t peep. Well, I didn’t have to. The windows weren’t fogged up enough and the most obvious reason: the second girl was more developed then the previous one.

Look around you. Ask around you. How many Asian women have non-Asian boyfriends/lovers? Would you believe that all Asian men make lousy lovers? And this drove Asian women to non-Asian men? At this very juncture, you might be wondering why? What is lacking in Asians that non-Asians have? It’s straightforward. No two ways about it.

“I’m saying this for all men, not just myself. When a guy sees a hot woman on the streets, the first thought that will come to their mind would be, ‘I want to sleep with her.’”
– Anonymous

This statement was heard off a radio during my stroll home. It really got me wondering about life, love and lust. I believe that love is neither a hybrid of emotions nor a network of deeds anymore. People are confused between love and lust. That very same confusion has led to belief. Belief forms reality. Reality is what you believe it to be.

Now…
Love is simply lust.
Love is fuck.

"maybe if i had another chance, i'd go into my past and make my life a better one... for me and you..." - dick lee

2006-08-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

Life Story - Dick Lee

wake up she said,
look it's a beautiful day
downstairs to the kitchen door
and then away

into the night
morning feeling is on
come the clouds, the moon
and morning is gone

born today some years ago
and had a happy childhood
but i fell in love and out
nothing's changed
lived a life of nothing much
but then how much can one expect?
so there you are
my life has gone
but i'm the same

just my life story
minute by second a story
that goes on forever with each breath that i take
this is my life story
uneventful a story
that ages with each year and birthday cake

get up, he said, hurry or you might be late
everyday you hurry off to keep your date
learn something new
what are you hoping to prove?
make some money, find a wife, have a kid or two..

thinking back i like to dream of things i would've done
if i were braver, then again i'm not
what can i do?
maybe if i had another chance, i'd go into my past
and make my life a better one
for me and you

just my life story
minute by second a story
that goes on forever with each breath that i take
this is my life story
uneventful a story
that ages with each year and birthday cake

when it's time and i must close,
i'll write a book and sign it 'X'
and send it to some true romance type magazine somewhere
then the world will read of me
and say there lived a hero
but too late, my friends and enemies
i guess life isn't fair

so my life story
is quite explanatory
would you please start from page one
and please go on
till i'm done

"If you could only see the way she loves me.. Then maybe you would understand.." - Tonic

2006-08-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

Depicting a tinge of sadness and loneliness when seeing one running at full steam, right-smack into an erected stonewall. I turned off the telly after a contestant on Rock star: Supernova got ousted. Chris Pierson stripped down Tonic’s hit – If you could only see, to bare strings.

This arrangement, coupled with Chris’s vocals, was astounding. Supernova assembled a group of talented rockers to get a new lead singer to front their band, ala INXS. They were strict about it and that show how much music meant to them. Chris was inevitably eliminated. Looking at his face as his heart crashed inside of him, he still managed to be graceful in defeat.

"If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me" - Tonic

It got me reminiscing about my stint in Singapore Idol. I kinda think that I’m worth a shot in it. Especially after viewing the crap dished out on a weekly basis. Choosing the songs to belt out would be a challenge.

Now this's how my song choices lined up

Piano Show: Tonight I Wanna Cry – Keith Urban
Parent’s Choice: Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton
Number 1 Hits: One Last Cry – Brian McKnight
The Classics: Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra
British Invasion: Imagine – John Lennon
Home, Family & Friends: Life Story – Dick Lee
Rock The House: When She Says She Loves Me – Tonic

Maybe it was only meant to me
-Go Figure

"And the delta sun burns bright and violet..." - U2

2006-08-14T02:55:00.000+08:00

A shade that’s simply complicated
A hue, sadly elated
Her smile warmed winter’s breath
And carried through life and death

Shrouded in a tinge of mystic aura
Violet is neither bold nor bland
It adds a hint of subtlety to any piece of art
And gives life to the soul of the human heart

Revere at the sight of a million floras
Embrace the presence of a single one
Enthralled by her beauty
Leaving all things said and done

A smile, more than mere flirt
Thank you, my dear violet.

"I thought the world of you... I thought nothing could go wrong... But I was wrong... I was wrong..." – Cranberries

2006-08-08T12:25:00.000+08:00

Individuals tend to associate my posts with the titles above. Sometimes I do name them appropriately, but not all the time. Take the last one for example; I simply love that Robbie Williams’ song and under the suggestion of a friend, that heading was used.

After stressing my intellect and grinding enough brain-juice to bathe a bear (pardon the pun),
I’m gonna let the moron(s) figure it out why this particular stanza was used in this post. As for the rest, thank you for your support. Enjoy.

"I thought the world of you... I thought nothing could go wrong... But I was wrong... I was wrong..." – Cranberries

Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, people tend to neglect the finer things. Everyday, when the sunbeams fall unto your still sleeping self, people have started working. The buses are up and running, food centers are churning out mouth watering dishes and even the accumulated trash have been disposed. All these have been taken for granted. In this post, I will mention about one other facet of life that’s not only neglected, but underrated.

You tend to get so engulfed by work that you would not spend time with your family. Sure, you might have the occasional drink or two with your friends. But we would tend to take our families for granted.

When was the last time you gave your parents a nice warm hug and told them you love them? In pursuit of monetary gains, one would fail to realize, that fame and fortune would merely be ink on paper. And that’s just that.

With all recognition and reputation, but at the end of it all, your partner leaves you for another. Does it all really matter then?

“Do you remember that particular commercial, in which the leprechaun was chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? In the end, they were only corn flakes.” – Christopher Walken

“Will you still love me in the morning?”
“Family comes first.” – Adam Sandler

-inspired by “Click”

"My heart is broken... there's nothing to break" - Robbie Williams

2006-07-27T14:49:00.000+08:00

The wheels made contact with the tarmac as the sizzling sun hangs majestically under the Bangkok sky. As I took a deep breath, a stench most foul, reeked across the cabin and greeted me in all its grandeur. In no time at all, someone barfed. It was only a 2 hour flight. Geez…

I was absolutely astounded by this city. Cited for all its cheap stuff and prostitutes, it begged to differ as it was much more than that. The traffic was un-orderly, vehicles just whiz by each other in-between lanes and pedestrians. Erected amongst the boulevard of traffic were advertisement boards. Not just one or two, hundreds of them.

"My heart is broken... there's nothing to break" - Robbie Williams

After a long day’s visit to my client’s factory, I took it upon myself to unwind a little… A drink or two won’t hurt. I decided to make my way to the nearest pub on the last night of my escapade in Thailand.

CM2 is located at the basement of Novotel in Siam Square. It was 9pm (Singapore time) and the place was deserted. Apart from a couple of Red necks playing pool at a table on the far end, the place was only jam-packed with the music blaring from the speakers. I ordered my usual, took a seat in the corner of the room and waited for the venue to populate. So that I could begin my usual clubbing activity – People watch.

Colonization commenced at about 10-ish. And I realized one very significant statistic, men were outnumbered. I was overawed as I panned my vision across the dance floor only to my amazement that there were gorgeous women all around. They were not sprinkled across the club, they were packed into it.

What the heck, I established eye contact with a “miss universe contestant” lookalike. And soon enough, we were talking.

“Where’re u from?” I casually asked
“Columbia” said she
“What’re u doin’ here? Shopping?”
“For work”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I have sex in exchange for money”

My mind just went dead. What on earth is such a beautiful specimen of a woman selling herself here? She offered her services to me and I tried to change the topic. My inquisitive mind, however, succumbed.

From my enqueries, I realized that all the women there were “working”. Latino Americans, Russians and locals alike. With my mouth still agape, I thanked her for her time and left the table.

I stood at another area recollecting my thoughts and tried to straighten my thoughts up. The liquor was cheap so I was able to afford more than usual. Then, I saw her. It will forever be etched in my mind. The local looked so much like her, my ex. They were like carbon copies.

How would one’s life get any worse? Traveling across two borders and into another time zone, I still managed to bump into someone resembling her.
Was I suffering the after effects from the alcohol?
Was it a reality or just another pathetic hallucination from my overactive mind?

Go figure

"Someone said, 'football is more important than life and death to you' and I said, 'Listen, it's more important than that'." - Bill Shankly

2006-07-10T10:21:00.000+08:00

After a month of late nights, drowsy afternoons and spousal negligence, the concluding saga of one of world’s greatest spectacle pitted French Flair against Italian Steel. Arguably one of the maestros of football in the past decade, Zinedine Zidane led the Les Blues out onto the pitch for one last time.

Zizou struck a chord of brilliance when France eliminated the Spanish and also taught the cocky Brazilians how to play football in the semis. He takes to the field and will try to bring the Cup home for the second time in the history of French football, thereby etching his existence in the annals of modern football.

With the paparazzi all over the Italians regarding the corruption scandals involving several top teams from the Serie A, the players were relived when the press turned their attention to the French after their triumphant feat against tournament favorites, Brazil.

The team is oozing talent from its noses, Thierry Henry, Patrick Vierra, David Trezeguet, Franck Ribery, Claude Makelele, Fabian Barthez, just to roll a few off my tongue. However impressive the roster seems, the French still assembled the team around Zidane.
That, in my humble opinion, wrecked the dreams of millions wanting to see one of the most celebrated sons of football lifting the trophy to conclude his career.

The Azzuris, on the other hand, have simplified the tactics of football. Managers and coaches all over the globe have herald different formations, 4-2-3-1, 3-4-2-1, 4-2-2-2 and 3-2-3-2, just to name a few. For generations, the Italians have practiced the catenaccio.

Loosely translated in Italian as “Door Bolt”, the catenaccio places emphasis on defence. This, in turn, resulted in the ability to groom world-class defenders. The solidity of the Azzuri back line was unparalleled. Undoubtedly the best custodian in Germany 2006, Gianluigi Buffon show why he was the world’s best; conceding only two in the entire competition- an own goal and a penalty from Zidane in the Final.

And one would ponder on how to go about beating this magnificent Goalkeeper; one has to wonder how to breach the watertight defence first. Marshaled brilliantly by the player of the tournament, Fabio Cannavaro adopts a no nonsense attitude. With Gennaro Gattusso giving the defence more than ample cover from midfield, one really has to think thrice on how to “Unbolt the Door”

"Someone said, 'football is more important than life and death to you' and I said, 'Listen, it's more important than that'." - Bill Shankly

Before the world cup started, stars like Ronaldhino, Kaka and Ronaldo were tipped to shine. Now, basking in the arms of glory are not the gold of Brazil but the blue of Italy. Here's my take on the best in Germany 2006.

"My heart is as frail as a dove, and my spirit weak as a rose, see my sorrow feel my pain.." The Afters

2006-07-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

The Fallen Paladin
Tread the lonely path on a winter’s night
Sense the solitude in thy kingdom’s light
Praise the treacherous mind of thee
May the Gods in heaven, hear this plea

The gorgeous setting of a burning sun
War rages on, till thy kingdom come
A rich blend of tears and sorrows
Amidst the ruthless shower of callous arrows

Freedom has its own harsh days
Love has many a pleasant phase
Taste the snow for it’s bittersweet
Kiss the earth, as your knees get weak

The fallen paladin standing tall
Amongst the lush trees, hills
And the cold, stonewall

Swords fall, as hands of time begins to stall
An empty throne beckons
As thy heart welcomes all

The fallen paladin standing tall
May thy heart welcome all

"How do I say goodbye to what we had... The good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad" - Boyz 2 Men

2006-06-28T15:02:00.000+08:00

Life is simply a delicate occurrence.

You’ll realize that when you just sit back and gather your thoughts to yourself. Let not, the smoke from the incense, cloud your mind. As the bunch of guys from way back in secondary school were chatting casually, though not as casual as it used to be.

An aura of solemnity engulfed our surroundings as the gathering of friends, were brought about by the death of another. We didn’t hang out much, neither did we talk often, but Charm was always seen in school, chilling out with the clique of girls and around my neighborhood as well. I often come to wonder why she wasn’t seen around in these past few months. Death, it seems, respects no individual.

Everyone seemed to bear emotional strength at the wake, I noticed as I approached her to give my last respects. A picture came into view as Charm’s smile was evident on the portrait hung above her coffin and with no signs of her battling for life; she laid there in serenity.

Life is simply a delicate occurrence.

"How do I say goodbye to what we had... The good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad" - Boyz 2 Men

In memory of “Charm” – 1983 - 2006

"Oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won..." - Jet

2006-06-23T10:17:00.000+08:00

Life’s not all humdrum. And with all its ups and downs, every little thing, every little detail makes life worth living. Have a look at the rundown of this year’s World Cup

The “Waltzing Matildas” are through to the next round where they’ll face the “Pasta-eating, Pizza-tossing” Italians.

And the English and Germans got what they wanted- not facing each other.
The “Three-Lions” will take on the boys from Ecuador and the Hosts will cope with the Swedes.

Juan Roman Riquelme will guide Argentina against the Mexican Jalapenos in Leipzig.
Luis Figo will have to “Go- Dutch” when his young Portuguese side issues a strong challenge against the Netherlands. Masterminded by one of the best strikers in the 1990’s- A Dutch Master himself, Marco van Basten.

And there’s Ghana. This African nation was underestimated from the very beginning of the Finals and they silenced their critics by advancing to the 2nd round. There, they’ll have to confront their nightmare- the Footballing “Gods” from Brazil

"Oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won..." – Jet

I was walking down the same path that led to Fort Ed. It’s splendor and all its grandeur still overawed me till this day and how the Duke of Evil, Ed, took away my most beloved.

Standing, once again, at the gates of Fort Ed, I peered into the steel bars. It’s people were wealthy and were of a certain class. The way they behaved, the way they talked- it all seemed different. I just can’t quite put a finger on it.

After pondering for a while, then, it hit me- the people weren’t happy. They were not smiling as that of my people in my kingdom. Foundations to the Kingdom of Will have been erected. Everyone chipped in, even I did. For once, there was no Monarchy in a Kingdom… There was equality. From children to men, laborers to merchants and vagabonds to kings, we worked as one to reform and restructure the foundations to the Kingdom of Will.

Duke Ed was standing at the highest balcony and looking down at his people and giving his usual speech, “…so allow me to present to you, my new wife…”
The expected muffled mumblings from the townsfolk ensued and even I was astounded. My mind began to cloud in confusion, “ That’s quick, it’s only been a few months…”

A lady clad in white strolled into view. The sparkles from the precious stones could be distinguished from miles away. When I eventually made out that silhouette, I was flabbergasted- it wasn’t who I thought it was.

“Queen Cassopeia… she’ll rule beside me and govern all domestic affairs…” Ed declared to the townsfolk gathered below, “… go forth… and spread the word on Queen Cass…”

“Then where on the living plane is thy former queen?” uncertainties, fears and worries shrouded my thoughts, “I have to look for her…”

My attention was drawn to one wall with what seems to be a notice: “…Jeania is banished from Fort Ed…” This was getting insane. Loving one moment, tossed away like a used doll the next. Rumors had said that Jeania is living in the woods amongst the bears, yet, still treated like royalty.

Once a Queen, still is, and always will be.
I head home to continue on the restoration of the Kingdom of Will.

Go Figure

"Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love I'll give you all I got to give... if you say you love me..." - The Beatles

2006-06-16T18:55:00.000+08:00

How could one ever consider him/herself as being overrated or under valued?
My boss could be reading this for all I know, but, what the heck…
Doing sales with no commission should permit me to stipulate a significantly high reimbursement in my employment contractual terms. Then again, I was too in need of a job, and too raw in the industry to be asking for anything. Consequently, I accepted the vacancy without deliberation.

My immediate superior, Mr. JW, is a nice person. He’s been patient with me and advising me about stuff. Nonetheless, the situation has adversely changed. The supervisor of the other department(s) has been giving him a tough time about me.

The benefits of the company are unfavorable. I believe many of my colleagues there are capable of all the work they’re handling, and this includes JW as well. But, the thing I’m unable to comprehend is, what made them stay in the company?

JW insist that he has plans for me and I’ll stay to see it materialize.
But I can’t stay for long if things don’t occur.

Let’s post my immediate and long term plans here.

Year 2006 (Age: 23)
Current Gross Income: SGD1400
Increment after probation phase: SGD1700 (hopefully)
But if it’s only 100 bucks, hey guess what? I exit the front door of the office.
I’ve met my friend, by coincidence, at another company doing the exact same thing. He’s, however, getting a gross wage and allowance of SGD1900. What gives?

Year 2007 (Age: 24) – Estimated Gross Income: SGD2000
Year 2008 (Age: 25) – Estimated Gross Income: SGD2500

This is the tentative short term plan.
Hopefully I’ll be able to earn SDG3k before I turn 26.

"What pains me more , are her kisses to he." - Will

2006-06-13T10:42:00.000+08:00

I recollected my thoughts and began to write again.

Mellowed the words and toned the melody down.

She ain't with that pedophile no more, so i guess its ok to post my lyrics here.

These lyrics can be used, but please accredit them to me

or I'll just sue your ass off.

-Lucifer-
The heavens burst and realised it's missin' an angel inside
Lured away by the Evil Lord, she ain't in a right mind to see.

"Thy Love Him, More Than Thee"
What pains me more , are her kisses to he.

Swinging punches at the air,
No need to worry, no need to ask
No one seems to know me,
Behind this crimson mask.

Like a battle, fought like a thousand wars
In a cell with no windows nor doors.
In captivity I'll be,
In the end, loser will be me.
In self pity, wallow I must not
Forgive and forget, I can not
Their life is now just pedophile porn.
Shit happens, I rallied myself, life still goes on.

"I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go..." - 3 Doors Down

2006-06-09T12:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you see people walking through life, you find them being extremely aloof. They move on from one phase to another with a great deal of ease. Dodging, bending and even breaking the laws of nature, it’s just so intimidating, so scary.

Maybe that person is just searching. Looking for things that are non-existent.
Maybe that’s life… It is just that… Non-existent.

And conceivably, life IS overrated. More often than not, I don’t know what it means anymore. Like a kaleidoscope, life is broken into fragments and then re-merged, almost instantaneously. It forces you to be in a situation where you have to make friends, fall in love then those bonds are broken and again, you’re compelled to form new ones.

"I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go..." - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either
way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets
better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love

And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it’s only you and me

"像不知不觉游向海天.. 到最深的地方.. 才发现你早已经.. 放弃我.." - 陶喆

2006-06-05T17:12:00.000+08:00

How could you be certain that you’ve forgotten about someone?
The memoirs have all been banished into the depths of your mind, never to be unleashed again. When on one fateful day, you awake to thoughts that brought back reminiscences of the past, would that mean that the other was already forgotten?

I believe so.

"像不知不觉游向海天.. 到最深的地方.. 才发现你早已经.. 放弃我.." - 陶喆

One of the many splendors of life and the pivot between “Love” and “Hate”, “Missing” someone is a very poignant show of emotion.
The lack of understanding from some, “Missing” would tend to be misread/ misinterpreted as “Love” or “to still be in Love”.

Ever since that fateful day, I tried to meet new people, make new friends. Yet, after reading through this Blog, they insist that I still love her. Well, clarification is necessary.

I love her.
Correction, I loved her.
I loved her innocent smile.
I loved her witty charm.
I loved her burning desire to win.
I loved her, being herself.
I loved her.

She has grown, evolved if you will, into a woman.
No longer the innocent girl, whose eyes are filled with love and dreams,
Now, a woman in her own right, she is oozing with confidence in abundance.

She is a part of my history and I’ll remember her for that.
She has a life to lead now.

Go forth.
Take care

"我已不再是你的谁, 想到就会心碎" - 阿杜

2006-05-30T16:34:00.000+08:00

风若停了云要怎么飞
How can the clouds fly when the winds have died
你若走了我要怎么睡
How can i sleep when you said goodbye
心若破了你要怎么赔
How can you repay the heart you broke
若非你只是贪玩的蝴蝶
Unless you're just a playful butterfly

天都黑了你在想著谁
Now that it's dusk, who comes to your mind
情都灭了我要怎么追
Love is gone, how am i to find
花都缩了你要怎么退
How are you going to present the wiltered flower
原来你只会让我流眼泪
You only know how to make me shed a tear

整个世界突然一起天黑
The whole world is engulfed in darkness
爱在眼前无声崩溃
Love crumbled silently in front of my eyes
摔成粉碎
smashing into pieces

我闭上眼睛就是天黑
Dusk is when i close my eyes
一种撕裂的感觉
A tinge of ripping
嘴里泛著血腥滋味
A hint blood in my taste
多么伤的离别
What a painful way to bid goodbye

我承认我最害怕天黑
I admit i'm afraid of the dark
梦被掏空的错觉
The illusion of an empty dream
我已不再是你的谁
I'm now no one to you
想到就会心碎
with that in mind comes a heartbreaking feel

"Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm...But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal..." - Elton John

2006-05-29T08:33:00.000+08:00

Life seems peaceful nowadays.
No more name-calling, finger-pointing, mud-slinging. It feels good to be at ease again.

Football fever is going to hit the shores yet again. The late night matches, those heavy eyelids in the morning, will infect most men in Singapore. And with the Great Singapore Sales coming along and will eventually occur concurrently with the World’s Grandeur Sporting Event, the local economy will definitely experience a boom.

"Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm...But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal..."- Elton John

What is love?
Is it just a fabrication of the willful mind?
Or is it merely a word, used to manipulate the feelings of another?

Ok, here’s the deal.
From where I stand, Love is a hybrid mix of drastically contrasting sensations.
However, Love is also a state of behavior. Respect, Responsibility, Commitment are a few traits one should possess when in love.

I got to know this woman, C, who has tons of suitors and I “fortunately” got to bump into one of them. Built like a jockey, he possesses a very typical Taiwan boy-band-wannabe look (maybe I’m getting to old for this now). For now… Let’s name him Chewy.

Complete with THE hair, “cool” fashion-sense and the demure/shy etiquette, Chewy was just… that. C had to attend a birthday party after our date, with the birthday-boy setting her up with Chewy; she was apprehensive to grace the occasion. Nonetheless, she was there.

I have to sum it all up or else I’ll be labeled an Uncle sooner rather than later.

The party was, unsurprisingly, an all out romp session. C felt awkward to be present as she was the only girl (or human in this case) there to be engaging with the X-men on the Xbox rather than the X-men in the room.

Here’s my point, how could one openly declare his undying LOVE for another and have a full out swing-session in front of that same person.

Love and Lust…
Fine line indeed…
Peace.

"我拿什么和你计较...我想留的你想忘掉...原来牵着手走的路只有我一个相信天荒地老..." - 张宇

2006-05-26T15:04:00.000+08:00

Not displaying a Probation Plate: $120
Going 103km/h on a 70km/h limit vehicle: $170
Enduring hunger this coming month: Priceless...
This was the aftermath to that unfortunate week began as such.

As the sun was warm and was accompanied by a gentle breeze, I strolled out of Woodlands MRT and embarked on my daily route to my office. The air was fresh and I believed that it'd be a beautiful day. Misfortune begged to differ. I have to scrimp and save on my next paycheck, just to pay for the fine.

"我拿什么和你计较...我想留的你想忘掉...曾经幸福的痛苦的该你的该我的... 到此一笔勾销...不痛的人不受煎熬... 原来牵着手走的路只有我一个相信天荒地老..." - 张宇

Written by his wife, 一个人天荒地老 depicts a person who reluctantly accepts reality. 张宇 emotes this song with astonishing credibility. Many people can relate to poignant songs like this one… including myself.

Sometimes when life gives you something, and then takes it back, you’d tend to fabricate a sort or lie or just bend the truth as a veil over your eyes from what really happened. Coming to terms will eventually bring you to your knees and get a reality check. And tears will undoubtedly begin to fall.

“You are so beautiful… to me…” – Joe Cocker

Yes it’s that song. It’s a very honest and forthright composition and delivered by one of America’s Greats, Joe Cocker.

Latest addition to the Winner’s list of American Idol, Taylor “Soul Patrol” Hicks, wowed the audiences globally with a recent delivery of his rendition of the song.

I happen to catch the completely hideous Debut of Singapore Idol 2. There weren’t any vocally outstanding ones and that brought about one conclusion- they weren’t looking for singers to begin with. That brought me back to the month of February, the 1st Round Auditions of Singapore Idol 2.

Under the blazing sun for 12 hours and 4 more hours of waiting the following day, hope and nerves were eventually overcame by fatigue. Maybe I wasn’t “colourful” enough for TV. I wanted to think that I was too blunt. During one of the interviews, I mentioned that Singapore Idol wasn’t just a singing competition, and that luck, will favor the winner.

Bummer.

"If you fuckin with this girl then you betta be paid..You know why..It take too much to touch her.. Now I aint sayin she a gold digger" - Kayne West

2006-05-19T11:55:00.000+08:00

Following the footsteps of archrivals, Real Madrid, the Catalans lifted the coveted European Champions League Trophy for the 2nd time in their illustrious history and the 1st time in the French capital, Paris.

"If you fuckin with this girl then you betta be paid… You know why… It take too much to touch her... Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger" - Kayne West

Money, Wealth, Riches…
I believe that it is everything to us and that Love is merely a word to some, a game to others.

Money management is important… well… basically management is essential in everything you do. Hmm… that’s not what I’m gonna address. Is money that important? Yes.
For a fact money does buy you everything, every tangible thing. And that includes love.

Although love is intangible, it depends on one’s perception. For instance, you need money to date, to romance, to put a smile on your loved one’s face. Many people insist that it’s the little things that count. I’m on the fence for this statement. You have to keep dating your girl like you do for the first date; therefore you have to be financially stable.

Entrepreneurs have always been well off to begin with… Well, at least most of them are. Consider this; before you can kick-start a business venture, you need capital. Local establishments like Breadtalk, Charles and Keith are founded based on this mindset. Their respective bosses are from affluent family backgrounds, I’m not taking away any credit form their hard work and dedication. It’s just that, things are certainly easier if you already have the contacts and the “dough” to “make the mare go round”.

From rags to riches, the vagabond will be seen and respected as the king. This make-believe conclusion is, just that. Now, I have to embark on this impossible task. To prove to people, that undoubtedly, fables can be fulfilled and there will be a fairytale ending.

"It warms my heart to see her smile.
It's impossible to do so now.
Guess I've gotta wait for awhile.
Just to show that I've made the extra mile." - Will

Drawing a gross income of $1400 at this point in time. Dare I say, I WILL make it.
Be it 5 or 10 years, I will rub shoulders with the bigwigs of Asia.
I will be able to afford got get LV handbags, Gucci shades and all that bling for her, whoever she might be.

"If you fuckin with this girl then you betta be paid… You know why… It take too much to touch her... Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger" - Kayne West

I can't stress this further
Go figure

"Please just leave me right here on my own, later on you could spend some time with me, if you want to.." - Jamie Cullum

2006-05-17T02:00:00.000+08:00

“…Different people have a different way of relaxing themselves... Some choose to smoke, some choose to exercise and some choose to be left alone...” – Anonymous

I prefer not to mention who the quote is from. If I’d mention a name it’ll be fine. The problem is that it’s a cute girl I met at work. Hence, all the other anonymous will go berserk again.

Well… What she said got me thinking.
I do like to be alone when I’m stressed, and I’m more efficient as well.
All the clattering, clanging, chattering in the office are mere distractions. They cram your brain with superfluous thoughts.

"Please just leave me right here on my own, later on you could spend some time with me, if you want to…" - Jamie Cullum

It has been a week of misfortune.
Didn’t sleep on Monday- don’t ask me why.
Caught for speeding on Tuesday- 103km/h on TPE… in a van. o_O
Late on Wednesday and Thursday- Champions League Final
Friday… Ah… Good Ol’ TGIF… - I lost my freaking phone.

Maybe it is trying to tell me something. I should be alone.
After Hunter’s act of ripping out the stuffing from both my couches, Dad insists that Hunter is to be given away. I’ve made up my mind- if Hunter goes, then I guess I’ll have to move out.

It’s kind of depressing when you see a queen abdicating her throne, mother abandoning her child, leaving only the king and prince to fend for themselves. And no matter what gives, being all heart-shattered and traumatized you have to don a façade of strength in front of everyone, while deep down inside, you have to pull yourself together and rebuild the world that was magnificent just months ago.

Mum is recovering from an operation for a few weeks now and it’s probable that “ripping up the couch” is his way of relief from frustration. Hope mum recovers soon. Hunter spends most of his time with my mum and their bond is, without a shred of doubt, unbreakable.

Take care Mum.

“I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love. So come give me a hug if you into to getting rubbed” – 50 cent

2006-05-15T00:02:00.000+08:00

Ruud van Nistelrooy, one of the deadliest finisher ever donning the red jersey of the Devils in Manchester, is going to be sensationally offloaded to another club. Or so it seems.

Following the footsteps of David “Golden Balls” Beckham, Jaap Stam, Dwight Yorke, Andrew Cole, Paul “Le Guvnor” Ince and many others, the Dutch Goal Master is set to leave Old Trafford after 5 wondrous seasons in top-flight English football.

God save the Devils in Manchester.
I love the irony.

“I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love. So come give me a hug if you into to getting rubbed” – 50cent

I know I’m probably gonna get dissed for posting this article.
Well, I’m gonna do it anyway.

Clubbing- what gives?
Loud music, alcohol, atmosphere and dancing are the few argumentative points stressed by many (be it men or women) when they want to club.
For me, it’s pure and simple- To get laid.

Before the dissing sessions commence, keep your shirt on. (pardon the pun)
I’m not saying everyone consciously goes clubbing to get laid. Think about it.

Loud music means you’ve got to lean in when you talk. The close proximity allows one’s guard to be down. You exchange glances within mere centimeters, and you may “accidentally” prop your palm on the “small” of the other’s back.

Dancing is as old as time itself. It’s performed as entertainment, rituals and it’s also the oldest form of seduction. Dancers, the good ones, often end up as concubines to the Kings and Emperors of ancient time. In the recent past, dancers are categorized as employees of sex-related industries. But in this day and age, it’s art… it’s a form of exercise. And I fully concur.

Here’s the tricky part.
Add the “proximity breech” to the “sexy, sultry dancing”, and a tinge of alcohol to mess up your head. What’d you get?

I’m not saying that clubbing should be banned. Neither am I declaring that clubs should have tough restrictions and regulations. I’m merely suggesting that men should respect women and women, themselves. Put me in the corner of a club, and I can assure you that I can point out the intentions of most of the men and women there. That’s what I do in clubs- People-watch.

Most of them wanna get wasted and laid.
Carnal instincts (sex) drive all animals- including humans.

If you beg to differ,
Take a corner seat in a club and people-watch.

You’ll get my drift.

"我真的沒有天份, 安靜的沒這么快. 我會學著放棄你, 是因為我太愛你." - 周杰倫

2006-05-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

With 6 albums under his belt and one of the most relatable songs I've heard in a while. 周杰倫, still a newcomer back then, was plucked from obscurity and groomed into one of the top artistes in Asia.

Born in Taipei, Taiwan on January 18, 1979.
He was raised by his mother who was a teacher in a middle school. Showing interest in music, he began learning to play piano at the age of 3.

While in elementary school, he developed an interest in cello and had daily lessons. His mother took him to concerts to develop his taste for music.

When he was 14, his parents got divorced; as a result, he became very independent, quiet and anti-social. In June of 1996, Jay, being unable to pass the entrance exam to his selected university and therefore losing hope of a well paying job, became a waiter.

"我真的沒有天份, 安靜的沒這么快. 我會學著放棄你, 是因為我太愛你." - 周杰倫

Every time you experience heartbreak, you’d learn, grow and mature from it. Every time shit happens, life goes on.

What if people tell you, time and again, to move on and you’re unable to, does that mean you’re weak/stupid/immature?

Forlorn is the heart that yearns.

“眼淚知道, 你在我心中多麼重要.” - 匿名郵寄

"Have you ever heard of anything so absurd ever in your life..I'm sorry for wasting your time.." - Jason Mraz

2006-05-09T14:58:00.000+08:00

"She's 15, he's 30. Should they be dating?" - The Straits Times 5th February 2006.

The piercing rays of a particular Sunday morning sun awoke me from yet another restless night of tossing and turning. I barely slept 3 hours and suddenly it's daylight again. That conversation replayed in my head the whole time.

“I’m seeing someone and it's someone you know”
“Ed…?”
“Yes. How’d you know?”
“I just know…”

Hunter, still a lil' pup back then, was going at it again – he kept licking my fingers like there’s no tomorrow.

Dragging my feet to the kitchen table, I wanted to feast my eyes on what the football pundits will say after the series of matches played the night before.
I flipped through the papers gazed in “amused-horror”. The National Newspaper of Singapore was reporting what I experienced.

The quotes from the women (girls) were exactly what she had told me- Do women have a guide to break up with men? Or vice versa?

"Have you ever heard of anything so absurd ever in your life... I'm sorry for wasting your time..." - Jason Mraz

She dissed me for having an article on the bulletin board on www.Friendster.com.
Labeling me childish and some other stuff. Well, I am. If I fight for what I love and I do all in my power to get her back means being childish – then, I am.

I retaliated by trying to match him- mano a mano, man to man.
In civilized fashion, I sent an email to the hospital he was working at. Yes, he’s a freakin' doctor who gives massages for a living – a Physiotherapist.

A certain Assistant Director, T, replied my email, convincing me to divulge the patient’s name that the doctor was seeing. I reluctantly obliged, divulging her name, age and date of discharge.

Couple days later, T replied. Insisting that there was nothing going on between the doctor and the patient (victim- in my opinion) and advised me to provide proof.

This "man" is breeching not one, but two scandalous acts simultaneously.
I wont consider the man, who “falls in love” with his patient(s), a doctor.
Neither do I consider him, who “falls in love” with a girl young enough to be his daughter, a morally upright human being. In fact, he's just a rich-ass pedophile.

Not man enough to admit the heinous crime he’s committing, I’ve to resort to other means. I provided T a link to her blog and asked her to replace every word of “cow” with Ed.

I received 2 emails a couple of days later, one from T and the other from her.
I read her mail 1st. “…don’t be childish, can’t you learn to move on…”
Then T’s mail, “I’m sorry, the link you provided is not available. Please check.”

I checked.

She deleted her blog.

Coincidence?
Go Figure

"You can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.." - James Blunt

2006-04-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

Watching someone grow is amazing.

From how he whines and squirms his way out of a mess to how he proudly struts into an alley of houses guarded by growling, barking dogs and still keeping his cool.
Hunter is now outta "pup-hood" and has matured into an adult Siberian husky.
He is known throughout my little estate.

“You can’t break my spirit, it’s my dreams you take...” – James Blunt

Trying his utmost to act coy, he sticks his tongue from the side and gazes at you with his adorable eyes glistening from the reflections from any light source.
By being unbelievably adorable, he tends to get away with stuff.
Well, not when I'm around.

He takes the wind with him when he runs.
Just when you think you're about to catch up with him, he steps into another gear and speeds off into the sunset. Imagine what I had to go through to catch him when he ran off. Never can I erase the memory of that episode.

In time, Hunter will grow to understand, cherish and reciprocate the unconditional love that's been showered upon him constantly.

“When you know that you just don't know...” - Damien Rice

2006-04-24T10:46:00.001+08:00

Last night, Good triumphed over Evil, as the Footballing Gods in the form of Liverpool brought down Chelski to its knees in the English FA Cup semi final. The rubles of a certain Mister Roman Abramovic could not buy the silverware after Chelski looks set to have EPL Trophy for the second season in succession.

“When you know that you just don't know...” - Damien Rice

Going to work on a Monday morning is always laden with lethargy, especially if the traveling saps away the energy from you. Every time the second hand ticks, it gently ebbs away the life out of you. You’d just want to turn around and head home.

But I’ve got to persevere. I’ve got to try withstanding the pressures of being a man. Everything in this world revolves around money, moolah, dough, ka-ching, whatever you wanna call it.

This is what's driving me. The coporate ladder might be tough for some, but nothing’s gonna stop me from achieving my goals. I’ll just have to grit my teeth and work up some elbow grease.

It seems that life just zooms by when you’re at the busiest. I had to collect some samples from a Thai QA Engineer who came to this Sunny Country-Island for some auditing. After communicating through countless emails, the name “Yuppadee” seems funny – even my manager laughs at it.

I got disoriented along my way to Changi South Lane. I drove along in my company’s vehicle (an old rackety Berlingo), and I couldn’t help but to admit- I was lost.

A seemly calming sense of familiarity soon pacified my nerves as I briefly glanced at my surroundings. An eerie sensation engulfed me, and I realized- it was her neighborhood.

Flashbacks, sweet memories and recollections of "that fateful night" all rekindled in my mind.
Subconscious took me here. I wonder why...

- Go Figure
- Life Goes On

"Even the best falls down sometimes.." - Howie Day

2006-04-22T15:08:00.001+08:00

On this post, there'll be no "medeival narrations" and plagarisms.
However, I would pretty much like to share something on a personal note.

It seems that the sparkle of Mother Nature and Father Time's mechanism never seem to cease. But there always come a point when life just seem to stop, and yet time still goes on.

"Even the best falls down sometimes.." - Howie Day

My ultimate fear unveiled right before my very eyes and I eventually succumbed. The last day of my National Service was on the 25th Dec 2005. And of course, I was already clearing my leave 2 weeks back.

I was exhausted yet relieved, so I took it "nice and easy". That, ladies and gentlemen, brought about my downfall. Now I've lost my best friend, soulmate, buddy, pool-mate, lover, and perhaps wife, everything seems insignicant. Life no longer serves a purpose. And perhaps, I might also have experienced mild depression syndromes.

Have you experienced life being a bitch?
While writhing on the ground in agony, it takes another whack at you.

At one time, dare I say, I was one helleuva goalkeeper. Representing various amateur teams and playing at every level except professionally. Maybe I got too big headed, perhaps a little too cocky. Hence, the Gods from the "Sporting Realm" decided that enough was enough.
And the punishment: my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) in my left knee, was torn.

I could no longer play the game I love. No more sudden change in motion and direction.
No more bursts (or lack of) speed. But all's not lost, I still have "B", we can work out together.

Then, like a bolt from the summer's blue, a tinge of depression settled upon from the somber sky. Everything seemed to be subtle; every motion, every thought, every reflex.
Everything that was mundane seemed to decelerate, making them appear even less important.
Something was amiss.. But I just cant quite put a finger on it...

It was my fault. A moment of folly that resulted in a lifetime of regret.
Apologies seem to be meaningless now,
yet moving on would be the only way of saying "I'm Sorry".

Go Figure
Peace

"I give my best to you, nothing for me to do. But have one last cry" - Brian McKnight

2006-04-21T03:10:00.001+08:00

Is this going to be another online-blog dissing session?
I never once commented on her and anything she does, and I never will.
She was once my all..
"Dear mr "HugeMember", how could i have been the queen of your heart,
if our games played were entirely contrasting?
Yours was polygamous, and mine monogamous.
In fact, the best thing i ever did was leave you soon enough so i would not be hurt by your carnal instincts.

Somehow, i knew your kind. The moment i saw that lady walking the shetland sheepdog, looking all coy and demure, i knew you'd fancy her.
It really isn't very difficult knowing how a frivolous player thinks and reacts. Thinking back, you didnt even fancy dogs that much before. Amazing how a pooch can change your life(and luck in finding chicks) huh?

"Gates of Ford Ed". Well said indeed.. Go back and defend your own kingdom please. The "queen" doesn't play games tainted by loyal-less, fickle pricks. This "queen" never wanted to be a "queen". She merely asked for the 'tiara' and the role of a naive princess, in the form of a wicker bag. It never got to her hands, why? Cos the full-figured "King" was too busy playing games, both metaphorially and literally.

So the princess who never made it to that 'throne' felt jaded. Why whine, when returning to zilch was much easier? Now, The "Gates of Ford Ed" are well guarded, not with warriors or whatever shite your gaming head contains. It's manned with trust, respect, communication, commitment and most of all, LOYALTY and MATURITY- in ONE man, a non warrior.
He's merely a wise, respected figure.It doesn't take a prodigy to know this 'princess' does not bow to riches. Neither is she looking for a hunk of a King. All she desires is a soulmate who understands her, cherishes her, and respects her by staying true. Now, go figure, if your intellect is adequate for scenarios beyond your gaming realm."

...sometimes things are better left unsaid...
fyi - this is an extract from some blog

"Thank you for loving me" - Jon Bon Jovi

2006-04-21T03:06:00.001+08:00

"tot u nvr had the habit of blogging cos u felt it was stupid?
dont make judgmental opinions about an essentially uncertain issue,
because ultimately you become just another "stupid" blogger.

"Gates of Ford Ed". Right on. Magnificent it is, and passable, only not to you.
However, I cordially invite you to our new haven, situated in Mt Rosie Rd(Chancery Lane). When the 3 storeyed house, pool, tennis court, lawn andother amenities are constructed, do bring Hunter over for a run.

Living in a lap luxury does not mean living solely inmaterial wealth..i've grown and matured muchmore than i ever could.

a new blog:www.seekin-solace.blogspot.com; and good luck with your neighbor."

I rest my case
Go Figure

fyi - this is a mail from someone to me

"To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes. Tonight I wanna cry." - Keith Urban

2006-04-19T14:11:00.001+08:00

The relentless cacophony of noises are making in-roads in my mind.

"Le Symphony o' Din" is building crescendo with nonstop rings from over 20 phones, fingers beating upon countless keys on keyboards and incessant chatter from bitchy old women with nothing better to do. I think I'd rather be elsewhere. Allow me, then, to continue with my story...

"I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show. I thought that being strong meant never loosing my self control. But I'm just drunk enough, to let go of my pain, to hell with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes. Tonight I wanna cry." - Keith Urban
I inhaled a deep breath of air and boldly took a step towards the "Gates of Fort Ed"
"Thou shall not pass" I was rooted in my tracks as a voice boomed, "by order of the Sacred One, you shall not pass."
"But... Why?" I could hardly utter those words as shock and disbelief completely devoured me.
A silhouette appeared, "You, little one, are not worthy." and as it got closer, I saw him. A man clad in a black robe with maroon trims. He scoffed. "I can give her all that you can only imagine... And more... Much more..." His sentence faded off into a sinister laugh.
Then... I snapped.
My molars gritted together as my fingers were tucked in beneath my palm and I prepared to take a swipe at that monster. I ran towards him and prepared to give him all the rage I got channeled into one single punch.
A bolt of energy suddenly came crashing into my leg, bringing me to my knees. At that instant, I experienced a sickening crack. I was floored and immobilized. Now.. I'm surrounded.
A squadron of guardians gradually emerged from the misty setting. I closed my eyes and uttered a short prayer, begging the Almighty One for an ounce of strength, for one last hurrah. Muffled voices were heard in a distance, they were getting louder. The guardians stopped, looked and stared in awe.
I turned to see who, or what, could've made the feared "Holy Knights" halt and gaze in awe. My heart was throbbing faster, picking up speed in the process. My eyes glistened in tears. Now I know. God didnt give me physical strength, he's above that. Resorting to violence wont solve anything. And he knows better. He sent me the people from my kingdom.
They werent dressed in fine clothes nor had francy weapons. They were in rags and were only armed with stones and shovels. But the look in their eyes, that intent to defend me, were unmistakable.
All along i got caught up in reclaiming my Queen, that i disregarded those who love and respect me - the people in my kingdom. My love for my queen is definate. But I must not rid of the fact that the people need me just as much, if not more.
I must strive to rebuild my kingdom, "My Lord, give me strength..."
Go Figure.

"It's not so bad.. You're only the best i ever had.." - Gary Allan

2006-04-19T06:29:00.002+08:00

After watchin the Catalans edge out the Rossoneris by a solitary goal at the San Siro, I began to wonder,
how do I begin something which I once condemned?

Blogs, derived from the term Web Logs, is an avenue for individuals to rant, hiss, fuss, bitch... the list goes on.

I believe that I should have a say in this rapidly deteriorating society..
But, who's gonna listen?
Maybe.. Just maybe.. it's gonna be you.

"It's not so bad.. You're only the best i ever had.." - Gary Allan

It's disturbing for me to begin my "maiden" post with this depressing, yet ironic, sentiment.
It is exactly how I'm feeling at this present point in time.

The hardest part about moving forward, is not looking back.
At a point in our mortal lives, we will bound to face a crossroad. Not just any crossroad, "THE" crossroad. Allow me to elaborate...

After completing my (mandatory) stint in the National Service, "it" hit me hard.
"It" was a huge thing to encounter. I wasnt a young boy no more. Hence, the inevitable beckoned. "It" is "Life"

My world began to crumble right before my very eyes. Everything started to disintigrate and i can't do shit about it. Alas, the very last ounce of life, drive, spirit, and whatever you'd like to call it, was sapped away when the queen was dethroned from the kingdom of thy heart.

I tried to retaliate. Fighting for the right to have the rightful woman to, once again, wear the crown and be declared "Queen of thy Heart". This, however, will be to no avail. Eternal bliss will only be just another fragment of my childish imagination.

Where wealth is of abundance and living in the lap of luxury, she has another kingdom to lead now. Erected high amongst the mountains and overlooking the luscious greenery, there stands the magnificient structure of "Fort Ed". It's empire - second to none.

Merchants arrive from all over the continent. Along with them, they bought gifts for the ruler of this magnificent realm, causing the kingdom to flourish. The townsfolk are living in content within the walls guarded by the "Holy Knights". They possess an arsenal of enchanted weaponry.

"Thou shall not pass..."

Such is a metaphoric illusion distilled by a fragment of my, otherwise sane, mind.

Go Figure.